Just In Case

So according to a very reliable news source (facebook and phil) the world is ending on saturday. I, for one, think this is a lot of nonsense and rather than do what some survivalists will do, I'm going to mock the coming apocalypse instead of build a bomb shelter and stockpile water. Which, by the way, won't help if the Rapture (which is supposedly what's going to happen) occurs since I'm pretty sure everyone just up and dies and the souls either go to heaven or hell or whatever. Right? Let me consult my handy dandy bible...*opens side table draw*

You know, there should really be an index in the back so you can just look for "rapture" and then find the page number...I think I will write King James a letter suggesting just that.
I cheated and googled the rapture and found the passage. I'm gonna type it out here...1 Thessalonians "The Hope of the Resurrection"..."And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who haev died. We tell you this directly from the Lord. We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died will rise from their graves Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words"

So what I got from that is "First, Zombies, then party in the sky". Awesome. They better have harry potter and honey barbeque chicken super melts in the sky, otherwise I'm going to hell because you KNOW they have that shit there.

Anyway, I've decided to compile a short list of things I will be doing on saturday should the world end at midnight that night.
1) Drink heavily with available family members/friends. (this means I might drunk text some people to say we should meet up when we're in the sky. if you get one of these texts, I apologize in advance)
2) I believe I will be spending most of the day with Amanda, so I will make it a personal goal to be the most fabulous I've ever been. I have to look really good if I'm going to meet some important people
3) Leave room in this post for a "HA. I told you so!" type comment when this shit doesn't happen.
4) Tweet like everyone else will be
5) Eat some pizza, or maybe go to friendlys and eat just ice cream the WHOLE DAY
6) Not exercise
7) Smoke. A lot. You KNOW there are no cigarettes in heaven. (I'm banking on all that good karma I've racked up to get me in instead of, you know, actual belief)

that's all I can come up with. I think this is an excellent plan. I will be prepared to feel like absolute shit on sunday when I go fishing :)

<3
MeggyB

ps: I'm a little sorry if I've offended anyone who is religious. I hope you can forgive that I don't subscribe to this particular set of beliefs.