Just In Case

So according to a very reliable news source (facebook and phil) the world is ending on saturday. I, for one, think this is a lot of nonsense and rather than do what some survivalists will do, I'm going to mock the coming apocalypse instead of build a bomb shelter and stockpile water. Which, by the way, won't help if the Rapture (which is supposedly what's going to happen) occurs since I'm pretty sure everyone just up and dies and the souls either go to heaven or hell or whatever. Right? Let me consult my handy dandy bible...*opens side table draw*

You know, there should really be an index in the back so you can just look for "rapture" and then find the page number...I think I will write King James a letter suggesting just that.
I cheated and googled the rapture and found the passage. I'm gonna type it out here...1 Thessalonians "The Hope of the Resurrection"..."And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who haev died. We tell you this directly from the Lord. We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died will rise from their graves Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words"

So what I got from that is "First, Zombies, then party in the sky". Awesome. They better have harry potter and honey barbeque chicken super melts in the sky, otherwise I'm going to hell because you KNOW they have that shit there.

Anyway, I've decided to compile a short list of things I will be doing on saturday should the world end at midnight that night.
1) Drink heavily with available family members/friends. (this means I might drunk text some people to say we should meet up when we're in the sky. if you get one of these texts, I apologize in advance)
2) I believe I will be spending most of the day with Amanda, so I will make it a personal goal to be the most fabulous I've ever been. I have to look really good if I'm going to meet some important people
3) Leave room in this post for a "HA. I told you so!" type comment when this shit doesn't happen.
4) Tweet like everyone else will be
5) Eat some pizza, or maybe go to friendlys and eat just ice cream the WHOLE DAY
6) Not exercise
7) Smoke. A lot. You KNOW there are no cigarettes in heaven. (I'm banking on all that good karma I've racked up to get me in instead of, you know, actual belief)

that's all I can come up with. I think this is an excellent plan. I will be prepared to feel like absolute shit on sunday when I go fishing :)

<3
MeggyB

ps: I'm a little sorry if I've offended anyone who is religious. I hope you can forgive that I don't subscribe to this particular set of beliefs.

Party Train!

I had a dream last night in which I had a tiny black and white dragon as a pet. his name was Oscar and he clung to my chest with his little dragon claws and took naps there. I was really sad when I woke up and knew that Oscar was not real. A lot of other things were going on in the dream, but most of my focus was on making sure I didn't lose Oscar while I was jumping from log to log in a forest. Apparently there was a high school reunion going on as well because a lot of the people in my dream are people who I graduated with and whose facebook stuff I see on a relatively regular basis. I really wish Oscar was a real pet, because as much as I love cuddling with scoobert, he doesn't return all that love and affection that I give him.

I think I will add "wishing your inanimate stuffed animal/pillow would hug you back" to my list of things that I shouldn't admit to. Good thing only 3 or 4 people read this!

Part of the reason I feel this way is because, once again, I've got a job that makes it difficult to see my family and friends. We don't sit around hugging one another and talking about our feelings or anything, but the company of people I love and trust is beneficial to my sanity. I'm an ENTJ, for those of you who know what that is. I need social interaction with people I enjoy interacting with. As much as I like a handful of the people I work with, it is difficult to carry on a conversation with any of them when you can't even see them due to the cubicle situation.

When I'm at work I'm thinking about 3 possible things. The first is "should I say something?" which applies when there is some kind of conversation going on. Most of the time I opt to either chuckle and contribute a sentence or two, or to remain silent. These responses depend heavily on who is having the conversation. I am a threat at my new work place because I learn quickly and am willing to do the mindless monkey work that no one wants to do. There is a group of people who like this about me and who want to teach me more advanced things, and then there is the group that feels threatened by my being there and who probably talk a lot of shit about me when I'm not there and who pretend to like me when I'm there. If group a is speaking, I contribute. if group b is around/are the only ones speaking I say nothing. I cannot trust that what I say will be kept in context at a later date. MIND GAMES AND INTRIGUE. I don't like it. 2) The second thing I think about is "i wonder what everyone else is doing" which is often followed by 3) "what will I do on my day off?" which takes up a lot of time because I can daydream.

All of this internal monologue is great, if you're into 8+ hours of talking mostly to yourself. I' m getting really tired of talking to myself, because I tend to have the same responses all the time. I think I'm going to have to get some audiobooks or something so I won't have so much time to think about all the mundane details of what I'm wearing tomorrow, when I'm getting up, when I'm getting a haircut and other nonsense.

I did have a lovely time on my days off this past friday and yesterday, though. Friday I got to see my friends Bonnie and Sam. They recently got married, and I hadn't seen them in months, so I was most excited to get to see them. They've redone their apartment so it looks a lot more like a multi-room apartment rather than the studio apartment that it actually is. Once I was done visiting those two loverly ladies I went and indulged in some shopping, and managed to get some great summer/spring clothes. So phase 1 of 10 for summer clothes shopping is complete, I suppose. I also got a dress from Torrid (i ordered it online) and it came to the house on saturday. It is adorable and I am excited to be able to wear it when it's sunny, since it's a strapless right above the knees number. (Kelly, it's navy blue with big white polka dots and large red and yellow flowers. it isn't nearly as hideous as i just made it sound). Yesterday, my GPS (Spongebob is my navigator and he sings songs to you while you drive. it's only a little annoying), managed to get me to Simsbury, although it was the scenic route. This is a vast improvement over the last attempt, which was catastrophic. I had a great time visiting Phil, especially since I finally saw Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I'm torn over who I would want in my life more, Wallace or Kim. The drive home wasn't bad at all, and I had a good sing along with the B-52s and The Gap Band.

I'm going to go and read now. <3 (can you tell I got bored and figured you were too?)
MeggyB

p.s: Watch This and try not to shake your booty.

Finally!

;~; I had a wonderful idea for a blog post and when I decided it was time to write said blog post, blogger was having technical issues for...4 days?! Thank goodness I decided to just write the blog post in a word document so I wouldn't forget. I'm going to post what I wrote, but now I'm not so sure that everything I said was thought out fully...

Before you read this post, hop on over to this link here and skim the article. Or read it in full.

Today (5/12), I am going to politely disagree with some of this article. I saw it on a friend’s facebook and thought to myself, “cracked.com is funny most of the time…let’s read it!” As I read, I wondered if this was supposed to be funny, since I didn’t think it was that great. Since I read the article I’ve been thinking about one of the topics specifically, and will most likely devote the majority of this post disagreeing with that topic. I hope you’re ready for some flabbergasted word vomit! Do you have your beverage in hand and some sweet tunes to read by? (I would suggest this, it is soothing)

"We are more racist than we think” Sure, people are secretly more racist than they seem. But it’s hard NOT to be considered a racist. If I say “I’m not a racist” it sounds disingenuous. (note: I am really glad that I decided to re-read and edit because originally this said rapist not racist) Anything that I could possibly say to try to convince my audience that I like people who aren’t white sounds racist in itself. Why? Well, probably because I would use “us” and “them” or “they” instead of “us”. Confused? Here’s an example “I like black people, they shouldn’t be racially profiled by police officers”. Now, this is probably something I would say, and would feel bad for a) using the word black, because I’m afraid it’s offensive but at the same time think saying African American is bad too b) “they” since it implies “they” are separate (but equal! But not really, that was an awful piece of litigation/legislation…) So in reality, I like everybody and do my very best not to judge based on appearance but no matter how I say it, it seems like I’m being an asshole. Maybe I am hypersensitive and that in itself is racist. Eh, moving on.

“We think we are nicer than we are” I think this is definitely true. I know that I’m not as nice as I would like to be. All that smack talking and hobo ignoring that I do while drinking my $5 coffee and smoking my $8 cigarettes probably isn’t too nice to homeless people and people who can’t afford frappacinos. I guess it’s also mean to the people who I shit talk, butI doubt they’ll find out since mostly I rant at my sisters/friends/passersby about people at work and since people at work don’t know my sisters/friends I think I’m covered. ANYWAY, I think the point here is that people want to feel good about doing something nice, so they hype up this act of kindness. Remember the ARK (Act of Random Kindness. Thanks Morgan Freeman). I gave money to a homeless dude and spent the rest of my day patting myself on the back, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels some sense of accomplishment/happiness from doing something nice. Is it as significant in the grand scheme of things as I tell myself it is? Probably not, but to me it’s important and meaningful.

We have no idea how attractive we are (or aren’t)” Now this is the part where if I haven’t lost any readers already, you should buckle your seatbelts because the ranting is about to begin. This article claims that people think they are more attractive than they actually are (which is sometimes true) but then tries to argue this is a bad thing. I find self confidence very attractive, and do my best to be confident as well. Just because I don’t have flawless skin and a constant (and sexy) pout doesn’t mean I am not attractive, it just means that I am not an airbrushed makeup ad. But I do look in the mirror and go “damn look at how good I look! Everyone! Come see how good I look!”, and then when photos are taken I wonder what the fuck happened in between looking in the mirror and taking a picture. I actually really like the article’s use of “scientific studies” (cite your sources please, cracked.com) to explain that people trick themselves into thinking they’re more attractive than they are. So if that’s the case, doesn’t that mean that my perception of other people is altered as well? If I like someone for reasons besides their physical appearance, doesn’t that enhance their fleshy packaging? (that wasn’t meant to sound as naughty as it does but I will leave it). I guess I just fail to see how thinking that you are attractive is a bad thing. Sure, there are a lot of those myspace angle photos taken in bathroom mirrors with the girls making the duck face and wearing tank tops where their nipples are about to burst out, and that is probably a result of them thinking they are hot shit. But let them think they are hot, because it makes them happy. (the ultimate point of this post is to basically argue that if it makes you happy, then do it. Except being a racist which is sort of the outlier here).

We think our problems are the worst” I would actually like to switch gears from polite disagreement to agreement. Fuck those people who think that because their boyfriend of 1 week broke up with them that their world is ending and then post their angst on facebook. Or people who post on facebook about their problems in a cryptic way so as to get people to go “oh no, what happened?” and thus start the cycle of bitching and moaning. The “my problems are worse than yours” way of thinking isn’t surprising since people don’t often think “other people are experiencing worse things than me”. I can understand that someone would be upset that the person they really liked ended up not liking them back and how it would make them sad. The posting on facebook for all to see is the part I don’t get. I know that I whine. I do not whine on facebook. I do not complain about the ridiculous bureaucratic nonsense that I put up with, or the way that I am spoken to like I am an idiot, or the way that people who have something to say about what I’m doing tell someone else who then tells me. I don’t write “OH MY GOD WORK IS SO STUPID ARGH” and then sit back and wait for people to ask me why. I like all the happy and fun things people share on their pages, and if something really sad does happen and someone feels the need to share, I can appreciate that they want to reach out and not feel alone. But seriously. Stop and think before you post that cryptic status about feeling nauseous or posting shitty nickelback songs. I think I’m done ranting here…

"We think we have more free will than other people” I didn’t read this part because I was too busy thinking about the attractive part. Feel free to educate me on what it says :3

So there you have it, a numbered list style response to a cracked.com article that was probably meant to be funny but failed. I tried to be kind of funny as well, but I’m not sure it worked. I’m trying this new stream of consciousness style writing, which means most of those little parenthetical asides were thoughts that I had as I was typing the first thought.Oh! I forgot to basically make my closing statement before Judge Judy tells me I win. As much fun as this article might be because it is telling it like it is, I think it’s a real downer. There are a whole lot of people on this earth, so we have to be responsible for our own happiness. I can’t rely on my family/friends/pets/scoobert to make me happy, I have to make myself happy. If I want to feel attractive, I have to convince myself that that is the case, and if that means that I think I’m prettier than I am, then fine. That’s called healthy self-esteem. If giving a homeless person a frappacino makes my day, then that’s wonderful and I should be able to equate myself with Mother Theresa in my head if I want to. Stop raining on my parade, cracked.com!

The point that I want to make and that I’ve probably already made is that cracked.com sucks at writing articles about sort of serious topics and I suck at making a cohesive argument.

<3

MeggyB

p.s: comment with thoughts? Please? I’m excited to try this new “type whatever it is you’re thinking” style but I don’t want to keep at it if it's irritating/bad.

I'm looking forward to posting an entry about the past few days and all the wonderful stuff that's been going on since my last post :3